Confusing Beauty Advice in 2012

So today I am adding a new dimension to my blog.  I saw this article from the New York Times that a friend posted on Facebook and I knew I just had to comment.  The article, titled "You Can Fall Out of Bed and Look Good" can be found here http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/19/fashion/imperfect-makeup-is-a-trend-for-2012.html?_r=1&adxnnl=1&smid=fb-share&src=tp&adxnnlx=1326993157-qyCx35VYy3cLSlq6Gqhnzg.

It basically talks about how the trend for 2012 is "minimalist."  This is according to leading make up artists.  Wow!  Sounds like great news, right?  Terry Barber of MAC says "the look is 'coming home from the party' not 'going to the party'"  Of course, if I look like I'm coming home from the party when I'm going to the party, what the hell am I going to look like when I really am coming home from the party?!  They even have helpful tips from experts on things like achieving the "popsicle mouth."  This makes you mouth look as if you have been sucking on a popsicle.  I know I'm a radical thinker but, maybe to achieve the look you should just suck on a popsicle.

Now comes my favorite part.

“Lose the smoky eyes,” said Mr. Barber of MAC. For a fresh look, he suggests swiping brown mascara just on the roots of your eyelashes, then dotting a bit of brown pencil in between (he likes MAC Coffee eye pencil). This year, texture, like metallic or wet eyelids, is all the rage. The total effect, he said, is “modern pared-down glam rock.”



Ms. Hamlin agreed. “The smoky eye will never go out of style, but a different way to use it is to use the metallic tones,” she said. “It just makes it a little bit softer.”

Another updated option is to almost reverse the smoky eye by applying shadow and liner below the bottom lash line instead of on the lid, according to Ms. Warren.

So wait...do I lose the smoky eyes or keep them because they never go out of style?  Or do I do the smoky eye underneath going for that oh-so-sexy raccoon look?  And isn't "pared-down glam rock" an oxymoron?

The article goes on to talk about eyebrows (the heavier the make up, the lighter the brows.  So now I'm supposed to look like Pink from the Wall?) and hair.  Apparently you need to keep it messy but shiny.  And to do this, you have to not wash it so often.  Ummmm....k? 

So, the good news is, minimalism is in.  The bad news?  It's going to take a lot of time (and possibly money) to achieve this look.